I’ve mentioned my family and I have moved around quite a bit over the years. The moves were mostly job related however I had an undeniable pull to live in Florida most of the time. It’s been wonderful living here … Continue reading
I read an insightful post discussing the system of self-care. The full article can be found here. I think we all see the caption SELF CARE and it’s been presented as bubble baths, spa days and PJ’s all day. I … Continue reading
I occasionally use a homemade shampoo to do a deep cleansing of my hair and scalp. I’m left with clean hair and scalp with a beautiful sheen. My secret, but not really, is using Ayurvedic herbs. Shikakai, Aritha and Rose … Continue reading
I remember hearing the saying “What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.” Not a bad saying but when you feel up to your ears in chaos the saying doesn’t hold much merit. So what do I do when it’s … Continue reading
I thought I would continue discussing hair care tips. Mind you, I’m writing this while a henna gloss is conditioning my hair. Honestly, how could I not share when I have something so great going on. Henna has been used … Continue reading
What we have been taught to fear really empowers us. I like to post somewhat frequently on the subject of fear. My research shows fear keeps most people from having the life they truly desire. Fear also encourages us to … Continue reading
Patience is a virtue.
To know me is to know I struggle with having patience for the smallest thing. I must constantly give myself internal feedback to slow down and trust the process. Please note the “process” could be waiting in the drive thru lane for the cars to move up. Practicing patience is a real-life struggle for me!
So how do you manifest your dreams into reality AND trust that the universe is working for you in due time? The million-dollar question.
Here’s my take on giving the answer that works for me. I purposefully look at any given situation I’m attempting to influence the outcome on, by using manifesting tools for instance, with the idea of two choices. I can choose to worry, fret, replay the worst-case scenario, wallow in what I feel I’m not getting or missing, exhibit envy and distrust at others who cracked the code to get life to go their way, give up, avoid the concept of manifestation and law of attraction, or remain not really-blissfully ignorant. So, choice one provides a plethora of low vibrational thought patterns I can chose freely. I also want to disprove the well meaning lie that’s perpetuated that it’s much easier to do nothing or think negatively about aspects of our life we would like to change for positive. It really isn’t easier, because you feel like sh*t, the cycle of feeling sh*t doesn’t appear to ever end and to top it off you will attract validation that you are in fact a sh*tty person. Not an easy way to live, trust me on this.
Ready for my choice number two, I hope so unless you’re a masochist.
I chose to instead open my mind, my heart and my very essence to the belief that I’m part of something bigger than myself, that we all are, and that we are in working in concert with the universe. When I think bigger, I help myself minimize my perceived strife or my decided lack of some thing. This is important because I can relax and focus on the bigger picture. Not only what I truly desire but why. If I can break down the why I can almost always solve the strife or find a way to make up the deficit. But first I must shrink down the emotions I am wrapping around my thoughts I’m sending out into the universe. Fear, which is the big one, closely followed by doubt. Doubting you get to get what you want. It took me some time to realize if I felt there was a delay in getting what I want I was the reason for the delay all along.
I want to get back to trusting the process. I was poking fun at myself earlier, but I do believe in trusting the process. It helps with that pesky patience struggle I wrestle with daily. Part of the process is finding joy and peace. I wasn’t feeling great a few weeks ago. To be totally honest I was bid-ridden for five days I felt so bad. I did all the practical solutions to address my situation, of course, rest, liquids, medication and so on. While healing I still felt crummy. In the space between sleep and misery I would see myself putting on my makeup, going out to dinner for date night, shopping with my daughter, cracking jokes with my son while eating something I have no business eating or even cleaning my house. I knew I would get back to my normal and I wanted to “see” me back in good health sooner rather than later. I knew the virus I had needed to run its course. I also knew I wouldn’t be sick indefinitely. I also knew I wanted to feel better faster. So, I did just that, I felt better faster. Again, I could wallow in my own sickness or I could decide to visualize myself better and back to normal. Full disclosure: I was taken aback at how fast I went from thinking I must be catching a bug to laying in layers of blankets with a box of tissues close at hand. I would say by day two I started my visualizations because I finally realized I was sick for real!
I will end with the reminder that if you are distrustful that you can manifest what you desire into reality you probably won’t. Fun fact, even if you aren’t actively participating using any of the universal laws, your life still will have effects as if you were. It’s called universal law for a reason. If you feel that your life goals are taking too long to achieve and you can’t help but notice how easier it is for other people, you will most likely stay in a place of waiting, wanting and desiring. After all, you’re deeming it so with your thoughts and views on your life. It won’t be easy for you. There will be delays.
Classic blue pill vs. red pill situation. I’m taking the red pill like it’s a M&M.
Last Friday I introduced my secret to noticeable hair growth. I have been using Ayurvedic herbs for just over a year and I am a true believer in the benefits of these herbs combined with water, oils and conditioners. I wanted to break down my weekly hair routine, specifically my wash day.
Before I even think about washing my hair, at minimum of 2 or 3 days beforehand I am replenishing my herbal oils or making a fresh batch of hair tea rinse. On an every other weekly basis I use a hair gloss conditioner. The alternating weeks I use a regular store bought conditioner.
Full Ayurvedic Week:
- First step is pre-poo. My pre-poo of choice is using a blend of oils and fenugreek seeds. This oil concoction is prepared in advance, of course, to give the fenugreek a chance to infuse the oils. I also want the oils to marry well. I use a slant tip applicator bottle you can find at any beauty supply store for a few dollars. I section my hair into two with a part from the top of my head to the very back of my head. Starting on my left (because I noticed this side needs a little more love lately) I apply with the applicator and massage into my scalp. I repeat throughout each section until my scalp has been thoroughly massaged with oil. I then gently rub my hands down the length of my hair all the way to my ends. I sit with a plastic cap when I’m done for at least an hour. This step happens every week.
- Next step is to shampoo. For the last year I have been using Camille Rose Sweet Ginger Cleansing Rinse. Nothing too fancy, just wash and repeat and rinse thoroughly.
- This step is the proverbially money maker. I use my hair gloss combined with my conditioner of choice. I use either Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil or Camille Rose Moroccan Pear Custard. Either works great with my herbal oils. The oils, again made in advance, include powdered Amla, Neem, and Brahmi. The oil is a blend of olive, coconut, avocado, black castor and jojoba oils. I mix the oil with the hair conditioner and apply all over, however I don’t rub into my scalp. I use a plastic cap again and instead of using a hair dryer I leave on for approximately 1 to 2 hours while I carry on throughout my day, writing, cooking/cleaning, or binge watching something on Netflix.
- The final step is to thoroughly rinse out the conditioner and use my hair tea as a final rinse. I apply using a spray bottle that can also be picked up at a beauty supply store. I then use aloe vera juice or a gel to seal. I also do this every week.
Styling is really dependent on my mood and what I have planned for the week. I haven’t worn my hair in a wash and go look for more than a month because I see less single strand knots and less shedding when I keep it relatively stretched. This is a new development since I have been able to retain length.
I use a henna gloss, conditioner mixed with henna infused oil, every other month or so. Henna is great, HOWEVER, and this is a big caveat, too much henna too soon, has been damaging to my hair. Initially when I started this hair regimen I was a bit overzealous with my henna application. I noticed after a few months breakage and thinning ends. I did some research and realized using henna so often was way too much for my hair. Thank goodness I was able to turn it around and kept my length in the process!
Hopefully my weekly hair routine is helpful. If it seems like too much, may I suggest you look at the time as “me time”, like a spa day. I do facials in between, paint my toe nails or sometimes I’ll simply lay down and meditate on my hair goals part of the time. However I understand not everyone is afforded that much time, so if I would promote a few quick things to add I would say the hair tea rinse for sure. I would also push for the oil pre-poo, which can simply be olive oil if that’s all you have on hand. The hair massage is the true power behind the pre-poo. Fun fact, as I write this it’s my wash day!
I see A LOT of YouTuber’s, bloggers and groups on social media having courses and conversations on how we ladies can level up. The conversations range from starting with healing within first to details on which designer you should wear. I have witnessed deep dialogues presented on the wondrous ways you can raise up your self worth. I will say upfront, I’m here for it all. I will advocate bettering oneself for the sake of the overall benefits of being the best YOU all day.
My favorite thing I have come across about leveling up is the idea of working on your thoughts about yourself first. This needs to supersede everything else because how we see ourselves mentally will manifest physically. I also like the idea that healing will take whatever time is necessary, however it is not encouraged to stay in a state of trauma. The goal is to recognize that there is a need to be healed. Healing takes many forms and I am loving the suggestions I see like journaling, meditation, yoga, spirituality, use of affirmations etc.
There is also the other cool stuff like makeup, hair, and wardrobe makeovers. I adore makeup and I love playing with different colors and changing up my style. Sometimes I never leave the house with my bold new makeup look LOL. But it’s cool, I do it in the name of research. I’m sharing my ayurvedic hair regimen again this Friday, check out last Friday’s post where I talk about the benefits of using Indian herbs effectively. It’s safe to say I love styling and maintaining my hair, just look at some old photos I’ve shared on this blog; blonde, red, black and henna-dyed. Straight, textured straight, wavy, curly, and afro-ed. I am actively working on my own level up when it comes to my clothes also, like trying a vintage vibe here and there. I’m having fun exploring what works on me. The outward part of level up appeals to me, if you can tell by now, just as much as the inner work.
My only issue with some of the conversations on the subject of how to level up, specifically to black women, is that wearing a wig means she has leveled up. To take it further, the idea that wearing naturally curly textured hair does not equate being leveled up. This isn’t a small pocket of groups or YouTube videos either. I don’t have anything against wigs or weaves. I would wear them back in the day to change up my look. I’m also open to women doing whatever they want with their bodies, including wearing a wig. What I don’t subscribe to is a one size fits all approach. My level up won’t look like anyone else’s, purposefully, because there’s only one me.
I have one of those personalities where I will almost always change my style, my home decor and even where I live. I’m grateful I am partnered with someone who supports and feels similarly. When I was single I would be on the quest of the best look for me, the best neighborhood or community for me, the best type of man for me etc. I was and still am open to requesting and expecting to receive these things I desired. I learned to trust my intuition which allowed me to trust myself with knowing what was best for me. So until I had what I truly believed was the best for me, I continued to focus on what would be ultimately be best for me. All along expressing gratitude. I have been doing my own leveling up for years. Expanding my thoughts beyond what I knew and opening myself to challenges and new ideas. Finding a way to express myself outwardly that pleased me first, which is what made me feel attractive. Confidence is intoxicating.
It’s 2019, we can all level up and be our best selves. More importantly, we ladies come in all different varieties so the leveled up results SHOULD vary too.
I understand when discussing universal laws, manifesting and meditating it can sound new agey (not a word but let’s just go with it for now). I make no assumptions that everyone shares my world view. However, this is my little … Continue reading